wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
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Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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