am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
love makes seman taste better
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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