im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
