got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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