I heard we made out
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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