I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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