Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
