You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
