You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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