Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
