Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
please come you make the beer taste better
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
