wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
