i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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