All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
