just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
