I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize