you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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