it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The uberlube is also flammable
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
