I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
