1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
