I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Blood and glitter go together right?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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