I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The power of my boobs compel you
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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