Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
