ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
