the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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