so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
