Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
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I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
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There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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