there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I think your dad took our porno
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
