you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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