She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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