she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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