i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
