Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We're too hungover to prance.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
