awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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