so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
