His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
