Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
only if we run a train.
done.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
