You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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