Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
