There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
