Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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