I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize