Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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