Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Porn is love you can see.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
