dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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