I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
