my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
