Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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