Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
