You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
