It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Randomize
