You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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