I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
