I wanna bring you to show and tell
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
