would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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