it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I don't think brook has ever known best
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
