I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just high enough for therapy.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
