Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
